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Narcissistic Daughter Withholding Grandchildren (What to Do?)

Dealing with narcissists can be very tiring, both physically and emotionally. Sometimes, you can’t just cut them out of your life, especially if they are your daughter and you want to maintain a relationship with your dear grandchildren.

To stay in your grandkids’ lives, it’s essential to work with your daughter’s terms. Even if their rules may seem unfair initially, they might become more lenient over time if you show that you don’t pose a threat to them. Trying to force your way into their family won’t be helpful.

If your daughter is open to negotiation, try not to come up with direct solutions right away. Instead, ask about their plans and try to find ways to fit your ideas into their arrangements. For your grandkids, focus on building a relationship based on care, being present, and showing affection.

Since your daughter holds a lot of power in this situation, cooperating with her is in your best interest. You really want to be part of your grandchildren’s lives, so avoid doing anything that could jeopardize your chances.

Building trust and understanding with your daughter is vital for maintaining a connection with your grandchildren. Be patient and open-minded during the process. Showing love and support for both your daughter and grandkids can strengthen your bond over time.

Overview of Narcissism And Its Effects

Narcissism is a personality disorder where someone feels very important, doesn’t understand others’ feelings, and always wants people to admire them. Kids with narcissistic parents often experience emotional mistreatment, being ignored, and being controlled, which can cause mental health problems like feeling sad, worried, and having low self-confidence.

Narcissistic Daughter Withholding Grandchildren

Effects of Narcissistic Abuse On One’s Health

Narcissistic abuse can have significant negative effects on a person’s health, both mentally and physically. Here are some of the common impacts:

  • Confusion: They may doubt their own thoughts and reality.
  • Stress: It leads to headaches, digestive problems, and sleep issues.
  • Emotional Trauma: It causes anxiety, depression, and feeling worthless.
  • Isolation: They may feel alone and cut off from loved ones.
  • Addictive Behaviors: Some use addictions to cope with the pain.
  • Impact on Parent-Child Bonds: Kids may suffer emotional harm.
  • Trouble with Relationships: They find it hard to trust others.
  • Self-Doubt: They blame themselves for the abuse.
  • Long Recovery: Healing takes time, therapy, and support.

Narcissistic Daughter Withholding Grandchildren: What to Do?

Found a way to Provide Good Solution

When your daughter is acting difficult, it’s easy to see her as the problem. But thinking that way might not lead to good results. Fighting with her could push her away and take your grandchildren with her.

Instead, try to see it as a problem in your relationship, and work to fix it as best you can. It’s not about forcing your way into their family, but finding a solution together.

Remember, your grandchildren are watching how you and your daughter interact. So, try to be respectful and avoid doing things that could make them think badly of you.

It might be tough, and your daughter might test your patience, but stay calm. Trying to cooperate with her and being understanding can help. Even if her terms seem unfair or strange, try to be patient and take things at their pace.

With time, she might become more accepting of your presence in her children’s lives. So, be patient and keep trying to make things better.

Reach Out to Other Family Members

You can talk to other family members who have a good relationship with your daughter and grandchildren. They might be able to help you talk to your daughter or give you support during this time.

It’s essential to seek help from people who can understand and assist you in improving your relationship with your daughter and staying connected with your grandchildren.

Never Provide Her Advice Direct

If you managed to get them to talk and negotiate, that’s great! It’s already half the battle, but you need to be careful from here on.

During these discussions, your daughter might ask for your advice or solutions. It’s best not to give direct advice. Even if she says she’s open to criticism, what you say could be used against you.

If you give direct advice, it might not end well for you. Here are a few things that could happen:

  • They take your advice, ignore it, and judge you for suggesting it.
  • They try your advice, and it either works or fails.
    • If it works, they might not give you credit.
    • If it fails, they might blame you for it.

Instead, try to help them discover the solutions themselves. Let them come up with their own plan, and you can suggest things that fit with their ideas. Support their solution rather than giving your own.

This way, you give them the attention and validation they want, and it might help improve the situation between you and your daughter.

Using this method, you can make a good impression and maybe even mend your relationship with your daughter. At least, it’s a good way to start things off positively.

Try to Know The Circumstances That Made Her Like That

Narcissism is a personality disorder that makes someone have low self-esteem, get upset easily when criticized, lack empathy, and feel very insecure.

This condition can come from things they inherited, learned from how they grew up, or a mix of both.

But remember, your daughter doesn’t like being this way. It affects their relationships, and they might do things like keeping your grandkids away from you.

We want to make it clear that they probably don’t do these things just to be difficult. Give them the benefit of the doubt for now.

TRY to Be Polite at All Times

Even if she acts rude or tries to manipulate you, always stay polite and respectful. This way, the narcissist won’t feel like you’re challenging them, and they will think they are still in control.

Being calm and non-confrontational can help you navigate difficult situations with a narcissistic person more effectively.

Always Appreciate Her When She Does Good Things

If she brings a nice dish for a family dinner or gives a thoughtful gift to someone, it’s good to show some appreciation. Narcissists love to feel admired, so acknowledging her efforts can make her feel good.

But remember, you don’t need to go overboard or flatter her too much. Just recognizing and thanking her for doing something nice can help her feel more open and relaxed around you. It might improve your relationship with her and create a more positive atmosphere


To summarize, dealing with a narcissistic person, especially a family member like a daughter, can be difficult. It is critical to approach the situation with caution and understanding. Instead of confronting them or attempting to force your way into their lives, concentrate on building bridges and remaining respectful.

Appreciating their positive actions can contribute to a more amicable relationship. Remember that improving your relationship with them may take time, but with patience and empathy, you can foster a healthier dynamic. Seek help from other family members or professionals if necessary, and put the well-being of everyone involved, including yourself, first.

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